New York!

I had a fabulous time! It was the perfect time in my life to go, and I was so blessed to have my best friend there to share it with me. (even though she got me sick and I am now at home with a fever and a horrid cough!)

Where to begin? I think I’ll just give you the summary because far too much happened in 5 days to go over every detail.

We took a redeye flight and got about 2 hours of sleep before arriving in Newark and starting off running. Martha Stewart was on our flight, but was in first class so we didn’t see her. We stayed in my Uncle’s studio for the week which was very cozy and showed off his expensive taste. We took a taxi to the Hudson River and hopped aboard a Circle Line cruise tour that showed us all around the edge of the city. We then trotted off to the Empire State Building and ate lunch of New York pizza. We headed to the New York Public Library where The Day After Tomorrow was filmed, hung out at Bryant Park for a bit waiting for a free yoga class that we decided to skip in the end as it was sprinkling outside and we had nothing to sit on. My uncle made us dinner and let us try some wine, which was nasty. Apparently he likes his alcohol very dry, aka not sweet at all! So gross.

After a rough night of adjusting to new sounds, Nicole and I accidentally slept through our alarm by 15 minutes which then caused us to be 1 minute too late to use our passes for the Today Show. It was pouring outside as we headed to the end of the line all around the block. We ended up right behind where they do the news filming part of the show in the studio. Nicole ended up heading to Rockefeller Center across the street to wait for me because she wasn’t feeling well. I’m glad I stayed because the rain eventually stopped though my jeans were soaked and I was moved closer to the stage to see Taylor Swift perform. She seems like a sweet girl, I was pleased to hear her say during her interview that she is not into the party scene because she wants to live life and doesn’t need to be wasted to do it. She performed well though she wasn’t actually singing–just pretending. Nicole and I went back to the apartment and stopped by Magnolia Bakery to pick up a devils food cupcake with mocha icing to save for later. At the apartment Nic0le slept for 5 hours while I hung out with my uncle for a while. It was nice to spend time with him and hear about his life when he first moved to NY and the famous people he met in his building. I had been thinking before going on this trip that I didn’t know very much about him and his life after he went off to college other than what his career was and all the houses he’s owned. We walked around Central Park and went to see Up at the movie theatre since it was a rainy day. That was my sister’s 18th birthday and she texted me and Nicole a picture of the tattoo she got. It came out nice. After Nicole woke up, we went to the Museum of Modern Art. It was interesting. There were some things we liked more than others. Nicole had to wait in a huge long line to put her backpack in a locker because they wouldn’t let her in. We had clam chowder for dinner and then went to Serendipity–a little hole in the wall place that celebrities enjoy going to. We thought it was a bit overrated. We had planned to get coffee there, but there was an $8.50 per person minimum that had to be spent so we got desserts. Frozen Hot Chocolates. They were HUGE and delicious, very rich though. After paying so much for a dessert, you kind of feel obligated to eat as much as you can, but we had just had the chowder right before, which is already rich. I did not feel well at all. I came this close to puking, which would have been horrible. Thankfully, I kept it down and we headed home. We got a bit turned around on the subway, but finally made it home.

Saturday we slept in, something that was very much needed. We went to the Hudson River and took out a double person kayak for a little bit. It was so fun! The weather had turned beautiful by Saturday and the air was clear. Then we went to explore Grand Central Station and got hot dogs and knishes from street vendors. We discovered a little outdoor swap meet and we were able to finish up getting souveniers for family members. Then we went to the Marriott Marquis where my uncle was planning to buy us drinks. It’s his favorite place, on the 48th floor of the building, the elevator is outside and is glass, and the room rotates so you can see around the whole city. The drinks were very expensive. We got strawberry daquiries and they were quite tasty. They tasted like strawberry smoothies and I couldn’t taste the alcohol which had been one of my concerns about drinking. Then we rushed over to a tiny French restaurant. I was daring and ordered frog legs. Are you surprised? Haha, it tasted like very tender chicken. It was good, but I ate way too much. We also tried pate, or goose liver. That was good too. We made it to Mary Poppins at the New Amsterdam theatre just in time, sitting in our seats right as the lights dimmed and the show started. The show was very cute. I loved the sets. My uncle’s friend, Ruth Gottschall, is in the show and we got to go backstage to meet her afterwards. She shows us around the stage and took pictures with us and gave us her autograph. She was a very sweet lady, and very encouraging too. She told me her second grade teacher was influencial in her life in getting her to pursue theatre. She remembers singing “Let’s Go Fly a Kite” in that class and her teacher had everyone listen to Ruth to sing it correctly. The president went to see a show that night and was somewhere nearby because there were cops everywhere and people waiting around to see him.

On Sunday we went to Calvary Baptist Church. The building was beautiful inside and it was an enjoyable service. Then we took the subway to the World Financial Center which was by Battery Park and the harbor. We could see New Jersey across the way and it was beautiful. We went to a Bang on a Can Festival/Concert and then ventured over to the World Trade Center site. There wasn’t much to see, just a bunch of construction. There wasn’t a sign of all the flowers and letters and ribbons and things that were there lining the fences right after it happened. We then went to Brooklyn, which we didn’t like so much, but we lined up outside the Brooklyn Tabernacle where we got to see Hillsong and the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir perform. It was a great concert. I’m so glad we got to go. Then we went to Rockefeller Center, St. Patrick’s Cathedral, and Saks 5th Ave. where we had planned to go a few days before but weren’t feeling up to it after the Today Show. Unfortunately Saks 5th stores close early on Sundays so we couldn’t go inside any. We went back to the studio and feasted on some New York cheesecake with strawberries–so delightful!

For our final day we hung out around South Seaport Village and rented some bikes. The bikes were slightly difficult because there were so many people around. We got tickets for the ferry over to Liberty Island and Ellis Island. It was crazy actually being there and seeing it all up close. My great grandmother came through Ellis Island from Poland when she was 22 years old. She was supposed to work and earn money to send for the rest of her family members, but ended up falling in love and getting married instead. There was a nice museum inside Ellis Is. that showed the different stages of the process of coming to America. It was really interesting. Then Nicole and I went to Chinatown for dinner and Little Italy for dessert. We got canolis in Little Italy to take home. They were sooooo good! We also stopped in at the Hershey store and MnM world before going home to pack up our bags.

It was such an enjoyable trip. It was nice to get away for a bit. Like I said earlier though, I’m now quite sick with a 101.9 degree fever and a cough that makes me feel my lungs are falling out. I had planned to go in for jury duty tomorrow, but I don’t think that’s going to happen now. Thankfully, I was able to secure my job at Moonlight when I got home and get some babysitting jobs–one of which is dressing up like a princess for a birthday party and doing face painting and manicures. How fun is that?! As of now, I’m just trying to get better. I have a CSET to study for, jury duty to attend, and scrapbooking to do. I hope taking a trip away doesn’t keep me from having a good summer home. I don’t want it to be a let down after that trip.

End of another year

I’m finally done with my first year at CSUF! Had my last final today and breathed a sigh of relief. I think I’ve done very well at Fullerton. It took a couple semesters to get settled up here, but I feel more comfortable now than when I started. I am glad to be going home though. I have more friends and community in Oceanside.

My classes have been good this semester. It wasn’t the most fun group of classes I’ve ever taken with Bio, Math, Grammar, and Historical Dimension of Liberal Studies, but it was highlighted with the chance to work in a 3rd grade classroom for fieldwork as I prepare for the credential program. I kept hard at work with my courses all semester and by the end I would have been able to fail all my finals and still get A’s and B’s–always a good place to be! So, that took off a TON of pressure for finals week and I found myself far from stress. In fact, I spent a lot of my time during finals week finishing library books, making plans for redecorating my room, dreaming about New York, going to CA Adventure with friends, and going home to Oside randomly. It was so relaxing and enjoyable! I’m eagerly awaiting my grades. So far, I’ll be graduating with honors, which is amazing! Two more semesters to keep that up! I applied for my grad check last week–totally crazy that I’m already looking at graduation.

For the summer, I had planned to work at Tri-City Day Camp again, not having felt God moving me to do otherwise. Yesterday I got in touch with the director and she’s only been able to hire 7 people, myself not included due to low enrollment. I spent a tearful night asking God what I was supposed to do this summer as other places I’ve inquired haven’t gotten back to me. I told him I didn’t want to sit around all summer mooching off my parents, especially when I still have bills to pay even if I don’t buy anything new. Car insurance, cell phone, World Vision, Tithe. With the economy the way it is, I have no idea where I would even apply. It was very difficult to keep my mind on my math final that I was attempting to study for. I read my Bible that evening from Job–a man who had sunk into very low times but refused to curse God. I read my devotion book about teaching a bird to sing a certain tune and it isn’t able to do it fully until its cage is covered. Darkness brings the beauty of a song. I recited to myself Proverbs 3:5-6 and told God I trust him no matter what happens. When my stomach would clench with fear and anxiety, I pushed those emotions out and prayed out the words of the Proverb. “God, I trust you with all of my heart. I can’t possibly lean on my own understanding because I can’t see the future. I don’t know what’s going to happen. Your understanding is far greater than mine. I will acknowledge your ways and your plan in this entire situation. Thank you for your promise to direct my paths.” Praying this over and over has helped calm me and bring me peace. Times come that are a stuggle and we easily despair in our weakness. But when we are weak, He is strong. I sang this morning as I got ready to greet the day, “You are my strength when I am weak, You are the treasure that I seek, You are my all in all.” I am clinging to his promises. I called Moonlight today to check up on the status of my application there. My supervisor is meeting with her boss next week to discuss who they’ll be hiring. She said she wants to hire mostly returners since the theatre is new and it will require more training. Better to have some who are trained in the other areas already. Day Camp is not a for sure no until it starts on June 15th. I remembered that last year it took a while for parents to enroll their kids. They still have 3 weeks of school left and don’t always think that far ahead. But I am praying that God’s will be done with both jobs. Apart from that I’ll be taking an online health class, adventuring off to New York with Nicole to do exciting things like kayak on the Hudson River, attend a yoga class in Bryant Park, see Mary Poppins on Broadway and go backstage after the show, visit the Today Show and see Taylor Swift, watch Hillsong at the Brooklyn Tabernacle, and much more! I will also be putting together the Everything Lifehouse Skit at my church, studying for my next CSET exam in July, singing at Seven24, and maybe even leading worship a bit at our new church plant with Generation. I would also like to make progress on decorating my bedroom, scrapbooking, and learning a new piano song. Lots of plans! You know me, I like to be busy. I hope to hang out with all you lovely people too.

All in all, a strong school year, a contented heart with peace in the situation God has brought me with both singleness and job provision, and a hopeful look to the summer.

Take a Breath

My mom told me today that I was glowing when she saw me this weekend. She said she couldn’t take her eyes off my face. She mentioned it possibly being a result of my newfound contentment or just being happy to be home. It made me so happy to hear her say that! I’ve noticed the lack of joy in my life the past few months, part of that was a result of slacking with my quiet times. I was grieving that I didn’t think people good look at me and my life and know that I was a Christian. I think my countenance had something to do with that. But, I got that back on track with God and have been joyfully rediscovering His hand in my life. We have oodles of jasmine bushes at school, and it’s my favorite smell of all times. Just walking past those bushes reminds me to be thankful. God has blessed me in so many ways, including things as seemingly unimportant as a bush. I have found contentment in my life right now. I have peace in my singleness. I really don’t mind it. The only times I start to doubt is when I see other people enjoying relationships and I start to wonder if I’m missing out on something. But, I like being single. Life is good, and I’m happy with this place God has brought me to. I realized it’s okay to enjoy something different than what others enjoy and there’s nothing wrong with that. Not everything is perfect in my life, no. But today “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation” to quote Paul. Of course I am human, and I am prone to freaking out about things. Money being one that raises a hesitation most often. But, I’ve been happy with the way I’ve caught it and stopped it as I say, “I trust you with this, God.” So, here’s to new beginnings, forgiveness, and joy. To loving life and feeling content. Count your blessings with me!

Finishing the School Year

Yes, that would be my excuse. The end of the semester has taken me completely by surprise and I can hardly believe I only have 2 more weeks until finals and then I’m heading off to New York and settling in for a busy summer.

“So how’s life been?” you ask. Well, I must say I’ve been asked this question quite often lately, and I feel like I don’t have anything new and exciting to tell that I haven’t already told. I realized yesterday though, that that is a good thing. I’m enjoying my life as it is right now. I’m happy. I’m getting solid A’s and B’s in school. I’m finishing up a blessed semester spent volunteering in a 3rd grade classroom where I’ve been given continual responsibilities to lead the class and discover good ways to teach. I’ve gotten back on track with God this past week and have been rediscovering why I love him as I revel in his love for me. I lost a pound! Only 5 more to go…. It’s my 21st birthday this week and I get to spend the evening with my two best friends at the Happiest Place on Earth. I managed to swing a B on my last BIO test which replaced the D+ I got on the first one. I got to spend the weekend visiting friends I haven’t seen in months at APU and spending the night with Nicole at Biola after making some more plans for New York. I get to see my beautiful family next weekend. Yep, life is good. If I must complain, I’m unhappy about the cold that has lasted over two weeks now, my trouble with getting the rythms with the latest piano song I’m trying to learn, and crash dieting is not so fun.

Okay, let’s break it down. Everything seems to be due at school. I have a final project this week where I and my partner will be teaching the class about population ecology and leading an activity. I have two semester long notebooks that need to be completed and turned in this week. I have a quiz and a test in the next couple weeks before I start cramming for finals. Finals ended up being nicely spread out over the week this time, which is good since I have several challenging classes this semester.

I have two days left at Landell Elementary. It has been a wonderful experience. I love being in the classroom, and I’ve learned so much from my supervising teacher. She’s been great in letting me take over different things in her class. Tomorrow I will be leading the literature lesson as we read Charlotte’s Web together, talk about the vocab words and discuss what we’ve read. That’s a new one for me. Hopefully it goes well. I think it wil.

At small group this week Farah asked the hard question that she’s been faithful to ask me so many times. “How are things going with God.” It was quiet for a moment before I said, “I don’t really want to answer that.” She asked why and I had to get down and dirty and confess that I wasn’t being faithful in my quiet times and haven’t felt inclined to do anything about it. I hate being honest when I know I am being a slacker. It’s tough. I’ve had this conversation before a few weeks ago, and the only thing that came out of it was a quiet time that night. I’m happy to say, I’m back on track. I told myself I’d been going without God for long enough and I needed to stop making excuses, especially since I could feel his presence was missing when I stopped meeting with him daily. It does make a difference. My eyes are once again being opened to the blessings in my life and the beauty that is surrounding me. I’ve found myself to be patient whenI’m forced to go out of my way because it allows me to take a breath and not rush. Spring is by far my favorite season. I love the flowers that are eager to poke their heads out as the sun shines with a gentle breeze teasing my hair. I’ve discovered that my campus has oodles of honeysuckle and jasmine: my favorite scent ever. Inhaling jasmine as I waltz to class definitely puts a spring my step. Reading Psalms in church this morning praising God and speaking of his love stirred something deep inside. Since I’ve been neglecting to spend time with God, I’m having to rediscover what it means to be loved by the creator of the universe. I’m taking baby steps to rediscovering that and am enjoying every minute as I try to be patient with the finish line.

I put a small goal on myself months ago to get rid of 6 lbs. I’ve tried so many things, and it’s frustrating when my schedule doesn’t allow much time for exercise. I’ve finally managed to lose 1 lb. I’ve tried so many different things, eating light snacks instead of huge meals as I’ve discovered I eat when I’m not hungry quite often. I’ve tried only eating healthy foods. These things have only seemed to keep me stable at my current weight. I’m not losing weight for selfish reasons, but for healthy ones. I’m not trying to lose a ridiculous amount. I just want to stay at the average weight for a girl my height. Crash dieting is not my favorite thing. I’ve read so many places that it does nothing. But, it’s the only thing that I’ve gotten results from. Nothing else seemed to do anything. I haven’t stopped eating altogether. That would not be good. I just stick to one well rounded meal and lots of liquids to stay hydrated. I’m hoping that once I reach my average weight I will be able to go to those other options of healthy foods and keep my stable weight. I’ve been a little concerned with myself as I seem to be doing things contributing to my appearance lately. I’m currently loading an exercising video for after my blogging break, whitening my teeth, I cut and highlighted my hair, need to touch up my manicure, and now this dieting thing. I’ve been praying that my appearance isn’t getting in the way of me cherishing who God has made me to be. I don’t want to be blinded by the things of this world. But I do want to take care of the body God has given me. I’ve been praying that my thoughts toward these changes is pure and not out of line.

I can hardly believe my birthday is this week! I have a meeting in the morning, an enrollment appointment for my summer class, final projects due, and school all day. But my evening is free, and I’m excited about the prospect of using my free Disneyland pass with Nicole who has a pass and Farah who works there and gets in free. It should be an enjoyable day. I also bought a cute little tiara that looks great with my new haircut! Yes, lots of people get wasted for their 21st birthday. I decided being allowed to drink is not the most amazing privilege in the world and have chosen not to drink at all in order to prove that point. Plus, I don’t think I’ll even like it so I don’t want to waste my money.

This weekend I was able to get together with Kaitlyn which was awesome because she’s leaving for Vietnam for 2 years in the beginning of July. I can’t believe I won’t see her in that time, even though we only see each other twice a year. But it was wonderful to catch up with her and I felt very encouraged as she shared with me the things God has been teaching her and the ways that she’s grown. She pointed out that we’ve been friends for 4 years now, which is just crazy! We still smile over the fact that we were introduced by our exes and even though both those relationships are a thing of the past, we’ve stayed strong. Just one more reason why we’re thankful for the things God taught us and the blessings be brought us out of that time. I was also able to hang out with Sean and Bino afterwards which was an unexpected blessing. I always come away from hanging out with them feeling very happy that I know them and feeling like I had a very enjoyable afternoon of laughing and fellowshipping with two great people. I don’t see them very often either but it makes me even more thankful when I do get the chance to do so.

I spent the night at Biola and was able to make some more plans with Nicole. I feel like we still have oodles to do, but we made a good head start. We have our plane tickets. We have our Mary Poppins Broadway tickets. We found some free activities including a Yoga class at Bryant Park, Taylor Swift on the Today Show, a family concert at Central Park, two person kayaks for either 20 minutes unguided or 3 hours guided on the Hudson River. Grand Central Station looked good for getting souveneirs. We also looked into $12 ferry passes to Ellis Island and $25 metro cards that are good for unlimited bus and metro rides for 7 days. I also looked into some churches to see where we should go to church on the Sunday that we’re there. Calvary Baptist Church seemed to come up in a few different places. So we might head over there. We need to compile all the places we want to go and map it out to see what places are close together. Nicole was also very excited about Serendipity. Apparently it’s expensive but we can split some dessert there and perhaps spot some celebrities as has been known to happen.

I’ve really been missing my family. I haven’t seen them since Easter. I’ll be very glad to go home next weekend.

My summer is quickly stacking up with activities. I will be working at Tri-City Summer Day Camp. I’m taking an online Health class at MiraCosta. I’m taking my next CSET exam in July and the last one in September, so studying is going to take up my evenings again. 2 hours 6 days a week. I gotta pass! I will also be directing the amazing skit Lifehouse Everything Skit at my church with some youth. I’m excited for this service opportunity and for being able to provide  a place for some youth to get invovlved. It’s been on my heart the way that there are so many people at church who have talents and just need an opportunity and an invitation specifically to them to get involved. That’s how I got into worship team. I’m hoping to do that for some unsuspecting youth at Generation.

That’s me ladies and gents. Hope you’ve enjoyed our chat. Maybe we can do it again soon.

Yosemite Recap

It was beautiful; I wish I had time to recant every little detail and awe-inspiring moment. However, I discovered this week that I am going to be singing at church tomorrow morning and must wake up a good 2 hours earlier than I have been the past week for practice. So, before I close my eyes for the night, I just wanted to share with you some of my favorite moments on this trip.

Singing “Lead Me to the Cross” with a waterfall as my accompaniment.
Evenings in the jacuzzi reading and chatting with Mom and Bethany.
Finding out my best friend is going to go to New York with me this summer!
Walking through the snow to view the Giant Sequoias.
Not having to exercise at the end of the day because I did some intense hiking earlier.
Learning how to ski and LOVING it!
Cooking dinner for my family.
Bethany jolting awake after nodding off in the car because she “fell off a roof” in her dream.
Sleeping in…a luxery almost forgotten to me in my life these days.
Sharing a room again….gosh it’s been what? 14 years since I’ve done that?
Stealing hangers from other available closets for our own use.
Project Runway, What Not to Wear, Get Smart, I Love Lucy, but no Food Network.
Having to walk to the business office every day for internet and connection to the outside world.
Taking lots of pictures.
Throwing snowballs sneakily as we walked 2 miles to the sequoias.
Counting how many deer we saw on the whole trip….how far did we get? 50?

I’m sure there’s loads more, but I can barely keep my eyes open. It was a wonderful time. We were so blessed by our friends to receive this amazing vacation as a gift, and my parents are fabulous for shelling out the extra costs for us to have a good time. Thank you one and all!

Vacation

We’ve been here two days and already it feels as if I’ve slipped into a place where the concept of time and schedules is nonexistent. I feel refreshed and not in such a hurry. I’ve been able to sit back, enjoy the scenery, and read some books for pure enjoyment.

The car ride up was indeed a long one totaling to about 8 hours or so including the stops we made here and there. Having my laptop was helpful in making 2 of those hours vanish with a DVD playing as long as my battery held out.

We arrived just in time to check in and were pleasantly surprised with the luxurious condo that awaited us in Bass Lake where we’d be staying for the week. It is like a nice hotel with the addition of a living room, dining room, kitchen, laundry room, broom closet, 2 bedrooms, a pullout bed, a bbq on the patio, and 2.5 bathrooms. We also have a business center with internet access, a pool and spa, tennis courts, and a rec center for our use. It’s really quite lovely. Bethany and I managed to fit our things in our dresser and closet after confiscating a few hangers that were in the broom closet. I slept like a rock the first night….apparently driving for long periods of time is hard work.

Sunday we spent in Badger Pass for the last day that it is open for the snow season. Bethany has been snowboarding once before, but Josh and I had never been before. We opted for the half day since we’re all kind of newbies and probably wouldn’t have lasted much longer, plus it was a bit cheaper. I had been debating about whether or not I would go, and finally had resolved to try skiing. I figured it would be a little easier for me, and I wasn’t too fond of the idea of having both my feet stuck to one board in case I needed to step out and catch any falls. I took a ski lesson since no one in my family knew how to do it. I had so much fun!! I picked up very quickly and even was able to go down one of the hills three times before it was time to go. The first time I went down was a little alarming as I tried to figure out the best way to break when going at a much faster speed than I had during my lesson. The second time I didn’t fall at all!! I was amazed and so proud of myself since I’m not really known as the athletic type. I’m still in shock that I actually went. It seems like a dream for some reason. But, I can say that I tried it and enjoyed it and therefore laugh in the faces of those who have looked at my girly girl ways and decided that I’m not compatible. I’m not afraid to try something new. I can be adventurous if I want to. So don’t judge me before you know me, thank you very much!

Today we went to Yosemite Valley, and I can’t really express my feelings adequately. I was trying to talk to God about it tonight but I don’t think I quite managed to do it justice. I felt very small and insignificant and even a little inadequate when we pulled over and looked at the vast scenery before us of Half Dome, Bridal Veil Falls, and El Capitan. I didn’t like the feeling I had. I felt I should be enjoying the awesomeness of it, but I felt small and unacceptable. As I asked God about it tonight, I think maybe that it was just to remind me how big, great, and powerful God is and that I shouldn’t ever take that for granted. I am small compared to him, but he chooses to bless me with such greatness as long as I can take my rightful place and open my eyes. My family took a bus tour, I managed to come up with some clever “tricky pix” pictures to take with my dad’s help, received a nice black jacket due to my improper attire for the cold weather, cooked dinner to give my mom a break, which I plan to do the entire week, and boiled my sore muscles in the Jacuzzi.

Tomorrow, I get to sleep in, thankfully! It is, after all, my Spring Break. I never ever get to sleep in except perhaps a random Saturday that I’m not working or up and off to one plan or another. Hopefully, I will manage to get some homework done tomorrow as well, since Josh and Bethany will sleep in later than me anyway. I think we’re hiking and coming home to BBQ that night before American Idol. Haha, gotta have our tv shows.

Saddleback Community Church

I had an amazing time at church this weekend. It’s been a while since I’ve gotten something out of a sermon. Actually, I don’t think I’ve heard one that really hit home since I was home a month ago and my pastor was doing his series on Recovery. I decided to check out Saddleback this weekend. You know, the one where Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life is pastor. Well, I was planning to go to one of their smaller campuses in Irvine since it was closer to me than the Lake Forest main campus. Let’s just say that God’s plan was a little bit different than the plans I had made for myself.

I got ready and was out in my car by 10:30am ready to go for the 11:00am service. I had cleaned out my car not long ago, purposely leaving in it a stray piece of paper with three church addresses on it that I wanted to check out. But, when I got in the car Sunday morning, it was no where to be found. I pulled the seats forward, reached and twisted, dug into every crevice. Nowhere. Now, this wouldn’t normally be a problem, except for the fact that I couldn’t run inside and use my computer because I was dealing with a potential computer virus and my laptop was off-limits. My aunt and uncle were still sleeping, so I couldn’t use the computer in their room. I tried to do a GPS search, but it could only find the Lake Forest location and the San Clemente location. There was a number listed for the main campus, so I tried calling to get the address of the Irvine center, but the automated recording only told me the Lake Forest and San Clemente details. I had no idea what to do. I looked at the estimated drive time to the one in Lake Forest. I was surprised to see it was 21 minutes. That wasn’t bad at all. So, I changed my plans and set out. I would make it just in time.

At that point I realized, the Irvine campus might have different service times. I called the number again. I was relieved to find it started at 11:15am. That gave me plenty of time to get there and deal with any traffic that might come up. There was traffic, and at one point I had to pull off the freeway and call again for directions because my GPS wanted me to take the toll road north when I was taking the I-5 South to Lake Forest. When my GPS sets its mind to something, it does not take too kindly to changing it. Figured it out and managed to get there without anymore trouble. On my way over, I had an epiphany. I thought, Man, God must really want me to go here this morning! I mean, just the fact that I know the paper was in my car and now it’s not, that my computer is not working, that the service time gave me an extra 15 minutes to account for the stopping off the freeway to figure out directions. You might be thinking, “Duh, Tabitha!” Well, that wasn’t the epiphany, that was the “Oh yeah, God does this kind of stuff.” The epiphany was that whenever my plans go wrong, God’s hand is in it. If I’m late to class, God has some reason for it. If I get stuck in traffic, God has some reason for it. So, my reaction to be stressed out and rushed is completely out of line. If I had been on time, maybe I would have got in a car accident. If I didn’t sit in traffic, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to practice patience. Already, God was teaching me stuff, and I hadn’t even gotten to church yet!

I got to church and had a surprisingly simple time finding where I needed to go, both in the parking lot and on the campus. (remember I have no sense of direction and this church is HUGE!) I ended up in the venue where Pastor Rick speaks live. I got a nice seat since I was by myself. I had been seated somewhere and then the seat next to me opened so I got moved to a different seat to allow for a group of 2 to get seats together. It took a little time to get focused because of all the moving around, but it was a God-thing too because I ended up sitting next to a lady that lives in Orange like me. Out of all the people there, from cities a lot closer than my city, I “happened” to sit next to her. At the end of the service we were chatting a little. She leaned over to me and told me I should sing in the choir. (This comment always makes me chuckle to myself because I have seriously been told this at every single new church I go to. Haha, I’ve gotten a little tired of explaining that I’m just visiting and it’s not my church but it is nice to know I‘m blessing someone else when I‘m singing to Jesus.) She asked if I had ever considered it. I told her it was my first time. She was super nice and started asking me how I liked it, and if I was new to the area, and if I was interested in joining a small group, that she goes to one in Tustin which is a lot closer, and I was more than welcome to join her. She gave me her number and email. Super nice lady! I don’t usually like mega churches because I get lost in the crowd. For some reason, I didn’t get that feeling here, even though I was by myself. I don’t really know how to explain it, but the atmosphere was comfortable and welcoming. The people that were there, though I only talked to a couple, just produced a friendly vibe, and I didn’t feel intimidated in the least. It was incredible!

As for the sermon, wow. That’s all I can say, wow. God spoke to me so much, I ran out of room on my outline to write down notes! He was just finishing up a series they did called Connecting with God: The Lord’s Prayer. It was based off of Matt. 6:13, “For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever.” We learned that to get real fulfillment in life, I can’t find it in what I do. I’m not big enough to give my life meaning, so I can stop trying. God, however, can give me that real fulfillment. I need to live in God’s kingdom for real fulfillment. I need to make his will my will, what he cares about, what I care about, his agenda should be my agenda. I need to put him first in everything that I want his blessing on in my life. If I want his blessing on school, I need to put him first in school. If I want his blessing in my relationships, I need to put him first in my relationships. If I want his blessing on my free time, I need to put him first in my free time. If I don’t, I won’t see his presence in it. Pastor Rick gave a nice acrostic for how we can put God first.
Finances
Interests
Relationships
Schedule
Troubles

Living in God’s kingdom is living according to his plan for my life. I also need to live by God’s power, which is his program for fulfilling his kingdom. We can depend on his power through prayer: more prayer gets you more power; less prayer gets you less power, and no prayer gets you no power. We can depend on his power by taking risks to obey him. Many times it’s up to me to take the first step in faith, and only afterwards will he give me the power I need to complete the task. Lastly, I need to hang on and not give up. I might not always see the results I’m looking for, but that doesn’t mean God’s not doing anything.

Then he talked about living for God’s glory. We were made by God and for God. We need to live to glorify him. We can do this by showing love to everyone through hospitality. It says in Romans that God will be glorified when we welcome each other warmly. How easy is it to do that?!? We can also use our talents and abilities in service to everyone. God gave us talents to bless others and the great thing about it is, when I use my talents for others, I get blessed too!  I can also share what God has done in my life and join His family: the church.

So, that was the message. It was what I needed to hear. I know all these things, but it’s good to have a reminder now and then. The music was nice. There was a guy that soloed with the piano, a song that I hadn’t heard before. It was beautiful though.

I was walking out afterwards and my loud heels started up a conversation with a guy that was walking out to the parking lot too. It came up that I was a first timer, and we talked about that a bit. He told me I should check out the college group, which I looked up when I got home. It’s Thursday nights, which is free on my schedule!

This is the best part of the whole story: when I got to my car, I happened to glance in the back and out of the corner of my eye, what do you think I saw on the floor? That’s right, the paper with the address on it. HAHAHA. I was cracking up. You would, God, you would!

The main reason I share this all with you is not to brag about my amazing time with God this weekend, but to ask for your prayer. Back when I was dealing with the issue of finding a home church in OC and not feeling led to do so, I had a lot of peace that I didn’t need to find one up here. It was okay to still consider my Oceanside church my home church. In the meantime, it was a great time to visit around new churches to see what’s out there without feeling obligated to commit to a church that I can’t really invest the time I need to in order to become a part of it since I’m not always here on the weekends and school is tougher this semester so I’m hesitant to add too many activities. Well, I recently heard the news that my home church in Oside is going to be splitting because we’re getting too big for our building–a blessing, but also a new problem to think about. The new location of our church will be closer to my house, and my parents have decided to go to that one. I usually go to church with my parents, but my pastor won’t be at that church; we’re getting a new one. This has brought up questions about what makes Generation a home church for me. Is it my pastor? Is it the atmosphere? Is it being with my family? We’ve got some time before this change happens, but it threw off my convinced nature of having Generation as my home church. Well, now I’ve found a church that I love in Lake Forest. God led me to this church on that particular Sunday. So, now I don’t know what to do. Maybe God was just bringing me there for the one day because he knew I needed to hear that message and be in that environment right at that moment. Or maybe, I’ve had peace about not finding a church home here because God hadn’t led me to the right one yet and wanted me to feel peace about visiting around different churches. The things that hold me back from committing is the drive. Lake Forest is kind of far, not too far but far enough especially considering I drive to Cypress twice a week for fieldwork. I drive to Santa Ana twice a week for work. I drive to Fullerton for school. I drive to Orange for home. I drive to San Diego for the weekend. That’s a lot of driving. I already use up a tank of gas every week without driving to Lake Forest. Also, if I commit somewhere, I want to get involved. The trouble is, I’m not always home on the weekend to attend church here, and my school schedule has shown me just how hard it can be this semester, so I’m hesitant to add anything extra like choir practice and another small group. Things have been letting up a bit with school lately though. Maybe this is why. And I haven’t felt the need to be in a choir since I came to CSUF and felt my choir at MCC was waaay better than the one I would do at Fullerton. I’ve lost the excitement for it. But, the thought of doing it at Saddleback created an exciting feeling in me. So, I’m a little torn. I don’t know why God did what he did this weekend, but I want to clearly understand what it all means and how I should act now. Please join me in prayer about this. I appreciate it!

By Your Side

This song is incredible. I tear up every time it comes on the radio. The first verse makes me stop and I sense a stirring deep within me that responds to the questions with a sense of uncertainty.
“Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?”
I have no idea why. I just can’t slow down. I can’t stop….
“Let me lift up your face”
I can just picture Jesus reaching down where I’ve fallen and lifting my chin so I can look in His eyes. I see the love that is written all over His face and sense His yearning to be loved in return with the same abandon as He has shown me.
“Just don’t turn away”
That’s when I cower with shame. Why do I turn away?! I am staring into the face of Someone who loves me like no one else can, who wants to shower me with all the blessings He has to offer, who will never disappoint me, will always cherish me, and what do I go and do? I look away. I lose my focus. I get distracted.
“Why are you looking for love?
Why are you still searching as if I’m not enough?”
I don’t know why, God. Maybe because it seems easier to have something physical, something tangible that I can grasp. There are times when I feel romanced by You, but it’s easier to feel that from another physical person at times.
“To where will you go child?
Tell me where will you run?
To where will you run?”
I’ll run to things that give me temporary fulfillment, just like the prodigal son. I don’t realize that what I’m looking for is right in front of me. I am just a child. I need you Lord, to direct me, to reign me in when I pack my bags to become a runaway. I don’t know where I’m going. I’m just trying to hide from the things I’m too scared to face.
“And I’ll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you”
Wow, I forget about that promise a lot. God will be with me wherever I go. When I faceplant in the dirt, when I wake up from an upsetting dream, when I kneel in the prayer room, and when I resist His help because of my pride. He’s wapping His arms around me and holding me tight.
So great. I just love this song. Gets me thinking.

No Time for Blogging

I haven’t written in ages it seems! I’ve been ridiculously busy and am completely shocked that my homework is all finished for the night and I have nothing to do until 8pm when American Idol Wild Card Edition comes on.

Last week was composed of a crazy amount of tests and family activities (which I loved) on top of getting sick and feeling miserable. This week has been different. I’ve had a very wide range of emotions and experiences. Sunday I spent the day at CA Adventure with my sister which was great. Monday I had a miserable day of being sick, weather that didn’t match my clothes choice for the day, no parking, being late, another group project, mistakes while teaching, and the list goes on. Tuesday I had a lot to do at work and didn’t get to any of it because my site supervisor had a million things she needed me to do including give a presentation last minute for a whole class period. I also had small group, which was nice as far as seeing Andra and Farah and catching up with them, but we covered some tough topics. Somehow those topics wound into my dreams that night and I awoke to a very sad disposition on Wednesday. I carried this sadness through the day as I worked an event in the freezing cold morning air where it seriously felt like I had gone to spend a day in the mountains not CSUF. I also received a test back from BIO that was a solid 69.5%. (Our class average was 59.7%, so I wasn’t freaking out too much. Technically, I got a C which is passing.) I received some comforting words from my amazing mom regarding the deep sadness and felt a lot better, which led to a very positive time with God that night during my quiet time. Today I gave a presentation to my boss and her boss and was critiqued on my performance. I’ve been amazed at how far I’ve come with my confidence giving those presentations. I gave a very strong presentation and my boss even said I was one of her favorites. I’ve always wondered about how this job would help me with my future career since it deals with high school students and I want to work with elementary students. I figured it just gave me familiarity with how the school system works. But, I’ve discovered as I recently began taking part in a 3rd grade classroom that it’s really helped my confidence with teaching and being in front of a classroom full of people who need to be educated on the topic I’m presenting. Very cool how God worked that all out to get me into that job before I even knew I wanted to be a teacher. He’s a cool guy, that God of mine. Tomorrow I will be giving the spelling test to my 3rd graders. Fun stuff, I know! Haha. Then I have a meeting. Saturday Erica and Farah are coming over!! I’m so excited! We haven’t hung out in ages and ages. We’re going to explore Orange Circle and go to the historic soda fountain there, then cook something delicious for dinner, then go minature golfing at Camelot Golfland, then watch a movie and have a sleepover. Hooray!!

So yes, that is my busy life. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I smell brownies downstairs!

Amazing Movie

http://www.tosavealifemovie.com/media.html

I was an extra in this movie! The trailer is finally up on the website. I’m not in any trailer shots, but the movie is looking pretty good for a church production. (some of those can be cheesy you know) It even got my sister’s approval, which is saying a lot! Haha. It’s supposed to come out sometime this spring. They’re trying to get permission for the title and trying to get it in the movie theatres. Good stuff, check it out.